When you think about flying, it's nuts really.  Here you are at about 40,000 feet, screaming along at 700 miles an hour and you're sitting there drinking Diet Pepsi and eating peanuts.  It just doesn't make any sense.  [David Letterman]

Hey - it's the end of our first week of vacation.  Time flies when you haven't completely unwound.

I'd like to share with you one of my favourite journals from the past year.  It got a lot of great responses, so I thought you might enjoy an encore, too.

Now, I need to get a little something off my chest about airplane etiquette.  First of all, I know that times have changed since the gals above roamed the aisles, and it's no longer considered a big deal to travel.  People have eschewed suits, ties and dresses for more comfortable options that stretch and/or breathe, as sitting in a seat that long can be bum-numbing at the best of times.  But a search for comfort doesn't mean we have to throw all of our manners out the window (or emergency exit, as the case may be).  For example, let's talk about people who seem to have no idea that what they do to the back of someone's seat is felt directly by whoever's in it.

On our flight home on Sunday, I was seated ahead of someone who obviously felt that the ample exit row leg room still wasn't enough.  I got knees jammed in my back several times.  But I was okay with that; perhaps he was extraordinarily tall, I thought.  (Turns out he was big, but not overly tall).  Anyway, then the entertainment system was turned on, and I really got to enjoy his tender touch.  This guy was punching the little interactive screen on the back of my headrest like a drill sergeant making a point on a new recruit's chest.  Not only that, but I think he wanted to sample what every single channel hand to offer; that screen was being plunked like a procrastinating accountant's calculator the night before tax deadline.  All right, enough comparisons.  Using too many similes is like...well, you know.  Lame.

So he punched and he punched and he kneed and he kneed and then when it was time for him to get up, he used the back of my seat to help him lever his butt out of his own.  I hate that!  Don't people realize that when they grab the headrests, whether it's to help them up or to propel them somehow seat by seat down the aisle to the washroom, they're literally giving the other passengers' heads a shake?  Keep your damned hands away from my headrest, and your knees out of my back.  If you're not comfortable, why should I suffer?  I didn't recline my seat, just to be kind.  And this is the thanks I get?

Did I say something to Mr. Big Stuff?  No.  Did I turn and glare at him?  Of course not.  Even when somebody is tap dancing like Shirley Temple on my seat back at the movies, I am very reluctant to ask them to stop, lest they burn eye holes through the back of my headrest and into my head during the movie.  Whatta wuss, huh?

But I'll tell you - and ask you to remind anyone you travel with - please please please remember that there's somebody attached to that seat ahead of you.

While I'm at it - I really wish that the pre-flight announcements would include a small message to parents to remind their children please not to kick the seat ahead of them.  As parents, we're just glad if our kids are occupied or quiet, but if they're kicking the seat in front, or playing "Wipeout" on their tray table, then I'm feeling every single beat.

I guess the list would be long if flight attendants had to remind folks to be gentle on their TV screen, not grab the headrest when they're getting up, recline slowly and with consideration for the knees of the passenger behind them, don't let their bum hit the shoulders of people seated in the aisles, don't put their fellow passengers through the pain of hearing what's on their Ipod as filtered through their earbuds (and sung by bees) and please keep their kids from kicking the seat ahead of them.  But if they wrote it in a poem or (in the case of West Jet's ever-entertaining flight crew) perhaps a little tune...wouldn't that be fun?  Oh - and remind people, too, that they should lower their window blinds when the movie's on.  I thought people just know that that's what you do when the entertainment starts; obviously I'm mistaken.  To the tune of "All My Loving"....

Close your blinds, and I'll kiss you...
I'll let my glare miss you...
Remember you're not here alone....

And while we're in the air
Please know that we don't care
Who you've called on that credit card phone.

While We're Flying...it's not you, you, you....
While We're Flying...we're all up here, too

I can't help with your seating,
So kindly stop beating...
The back of my chair with your knees

And while we're in the air....
Please know that we don't care
That you have the world's loudest sneeze.

While We're Flying...it's not YOU YOU YOU....
While We're Flying....We're all up here TOO!!!

(guitar noodling, back to chorus, woo woos and....THE END.)

Kindly remain seated until the captain has extinguished the seatbelt light.

As is the case in our everyday lives, it's simple: it's all about remembering that we share the planet, the city, the roads, the plane with other people.  Is it so much to ask that we all just treat each other as we want to be treated - that is, with RESPECT?

Thanks for coming by - and happy trails.  I'll be back here with you Monday with more bonus points for CHFI Loyalty Club Members!