Erin's Journals

Just a thought… People say, “What is the sense of our small effort?” They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time. [Dorothy Day]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

First of all, thank you – as always – for coming by. For a lot of this week I’ve wondered what on earth to write here. There is no way of putting a shine on anything that is happening which, of course, changes minute by minute. Our hearts are in Ukraine and with the people sheltering, fleeing, suffering and dying. So many families shattered forever – and for what?

Anyway, staying here with the positive, I came up with an idea.

On Monday I told you that the Canadian government is matching donations to the Red Cross, up to 10 million dollars, by its people – us. Rob and I made our donation and then, as I lay awake in bed ’til 3 am yesterday, I wondered, Okay, what else?

That’s when the idea of sharing our bounty (in more ways than one) came to me. You know I do these Drift sleep stories, right? As I hope you also know, they’re absolutely free now: no cost to download, no fees, nothing. Just yours as a gift, my thanks for the many days I woke you up…and now get to put you to sleep.

Luckily for me, I have partnered with two Canadian RNs who started up a company I love, whose product I love and have used for some two decades now, called enVy Pillow. Kathy and Kim were the first people I reached out to when Rob and I took control of this dream project of ours, and they said “yes” to partnering and sponsoring us right away.

This isn’t a sales pitch – and if you don’t know me better than that, well, I don’t even know what to say, except that, of course, I’m not talking about Ukraine in one breath and asking you to give or help me in another. No, this is free to you.

With every download, every listen to a Drift story, I will take the money that I receive for the short Envy Pillow announcement I start each story with, and donate it all directly to redcross.ca. Rob and I are doing this for the month of March – so we’re two days in already and I’ll go back to the first to start counting. It won’t be a whole lot, but it’s something. And I do it with Kathy and Kim’s blessings.

Right now, every bit counts. And all you have to do – get to do – is listen. Go to Drift, where there are already dozens of sweet age-old stories – and a few I’ve written myself – that start with gentle music and a few breathing exercises to get you into the perfect spot to start to drift off. Then, after a half-hour or so, if you make it to the end of the story (and I hope you don’t) you’ll hear soothing waves for five minutes.

To mark this new start today we’re making available to you a story that I think fits the times: The Brave Warm Heart of the Steadfast Tin Soldier. It’s a tale from Hans Christian Andersen of loyalty, of duty and of love shining through – even among the ashes.

This truly is the least that I can do, and in making this and the other 40-some stories available to you for free, thanks to enVy Pillow, it’s my hope that you’ll find some rest for your weary mind and body. It’s my wish that you’ll be sleeping just a little better, while perhaps helping someone else to do so, too, somewhere down the road.

Thank you – and I wish you, wish us all, peace this weekend and always.

You can watch a video version of this message on YouTube.

It’s a fact – decluttering your space actually helps clear your mind, and can bring you greater peace: something we can all use, now more than ever.

Declutter.Diabetes.ca wants to give you a nudge to get you started and why not give it up – for good! Like gently used clothing (you know, stuff from your previous life that doesn’t fit any of your new life) – things the kids have outgrown, or even small household items.

For 40 days between today and April 14, gather an item a day. Then bag it up and schedule a FREE home pick up, or locate a donation bin. Just visit declutter.diabetes.ca.

I’ll be back with a regular journal here tomorrow.

Just a thought… You know it’s funny: life just turns out to be a series of disappointments with just enough time between them for the next one to catch you by surprise. [Bradley Jackson, The Morning Show]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

I know, that’s not the kind of cheery start to these journals that you expect, but honest to goodness, when I heard Reese Witherspoon’s character say those words on an episode of Apple’s The Morning Show, I had to stop the show and write them down.

“A series of disappointments with just enough time between them for the next one to catch you by surprise.” Cynical? Indeed. But true enough to be funny, too. You know what’s not disappointing these days, though? The number of people in cities and towns across this globe of ours coming out in support of the people of Ukraine and their brave president Zelensky.

As I write this, everything is evolving moment by moment in Eastern Europe and beyond. But one thing is constant: you. If you’re overwhelmed by a feeling of weltschmerz…

…you are certainly not alone. And, of course, the Germans have the perfect word for it; they gave us “schadenfreude” after all!

You’ve got to take care of you while this is all going on. Like the Serenity Prayer says, “…the Courage to Change the Things I Can…” so make that donation to the Canadian Red Cross, to be matched by our federal government, up to 10 million dollars. And as for the “Accept the Things I Cannot Change” part, this is where your self-care comes in.

NPR had a really great article the other day. To pare it down to almost Twitter-length points, I’ll share the important tips they had on how you can make sure you stay steady and take care of you.

First, breathe. There are many methods for meditation on the go, but here’s a five finger breathing exercise. Hold your hand up in front of you, tracing your fingers as you breathe in, going up the finger, and exhale going down. Some people use this in the dentist’s office. I use it while I’m driving. KIDDING.

Next, get moving! You don’t have to jump on the bike – indoors these days for the most part – just busy yourself with something other than the news and something that makes your brain go down another road. A book? A recipe? A craft? Deep cleaning? (Okay, that was silly – who wants to deep clean?) Have your own cabinet shuffle and move out the spices that came into your house before the new millennium did. True story: yesterday I found a bottle of Sterisol mouthwash in the bathroom that expired in 2010. Did I throw it out? No I did not.

Nourish yourself. Although chocolate is truly one of the food groups and there’s no judgment here, make sure you’re taking care of your body’s nutritional needs.

Stay connected. If you’re worried, chances are someone you love is, too. Or if they’re not, perhaps they’ll be just the person you need to talk to right now. Plus, we’re still taking a lot of Covid precautions, most of us, as the virus hasn’t stopped just because we’re tired of it. So, yes, we still need to make that connection. Phone, email, text, in-person visit – whatever takes you out of your own head and reminds you that we’re all in this together.

And finally – although not this moment please – sign off. It’s okay not to be hooked into the latest news, videos and crystal clear images – some inspiring, some horrifying. Most of us cannot handle a constant stream or a barrage of information and misinformation. Just step away from your device, limit your intake and decide which reliable news sources you will go to.

Have hope. Give if you are able. Change what you can, accept what you can’t and have the wisdom to know the difference. And please take care of you. I’ll be back here on Thursday. Peace.

Just a thought… Baking is love made edible. [Author Unknown]

As always, you can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Imagine – under one month from now we’ll be in spring. Here on Vancouver Island, the crocuses and snow drops, as well as hummingbirds, have been shivering from a cold snap that came our way. But hey – it’s all perspective: it’s not Winnipeg cold…so on we go.

Despite the insanity around us, and maybe because of it, we consider ourselves lucky. Again, all perspective. (And by the way, if you’re having trouble sleeping, as so many of us are, the newest story free on Drift this week is The Velveteen Rabbit. I know you’ll love it as much as I did in bringing it to you!)

Back when lockdowns began, you couldn’t open a news or social media site without reading that someone was making bread or had a sourdough starter. To me, that might as well have been people talking about building a car from scratch, or even doing Wordle. Not my lane. If you love doing it, then great, but I’ll just move on, thanks.

So I’ll understand if you say, “Oh, that’s old news….” when I tell you what’s been going on in our little insular lives.

I started this year with a purpose: I was going to get acquainted with my kitchen. I bought a set of pots and pans so nice that they have their own tea towel for drying. I got a heavy-duty artist’s apron in turquoise that matches my kitchen. I started looking at recipes and then made a file where I keep the ones that seem possible. I stepped through my fear and aimed at becoming a better cook.

Part of this came from embarrassment: Rob and I were invited to no fewer than three dinners in people’s houses in the last few months of 2021 and I was paralyzed with fear over reciprocating. I mean, it’s one thing to have forgiving family over and meet them with too-chewy scalloped potatoes or a cheesecake whose base refused to form properly, but when you have a few excellent chefs in your slowly increasing circle of friends, and you realize how downright rude it is not to invite them over, you have to decide what to do.

We can pay for restaurant dinners (and have) or step up and learn a few things at long last. Becoming better at cooking was something I’d always said I would do in retirement, and while heating up a bag of frozen pasta and shrimp does fine for a dinner for Rob and me, it just won’t cut it for company outside of family.

A few weeks ago, I decided I’d try making bread. Our favourite kind is focaccia: a cake-like, light bread that you dot with rosemary and sea salt (or many other toppings, as you’ll see in the recipe).

I found one that called for the dough to be refrigerated for at least 24 hours (and can be for up to 48) and I thought, Well, let’s give that one a try. No kneading, very simple.

I’m happy to tell you that the first time I did it, it was a success. Which scared me, because I thought it was a fluke. But I made it again for Family Day. It went from the fridge (after 24 hours of rising) to this…

…and then this…

…and finally, this.

And, yes, it was every bit as good as it looks.

But here was my one last quandary: the first time I made it, the place on which it rose for the afternoon was on a counter over a running dishwasher. That counter gets nice and warm. So I wondered: Was the warm countertop the secret to it rising so perfectly?

Just to be safe, I timed my dishwasher running with the rising bread for the second focaccia I made and, as you saw, it was perfect.

Is this “dishwasher bread?” Or will it be fine without it?

Stay tuned for “As the Bread Rises” or “Erin Gets a Life…Eventually” coming soon to the Food Network.

The recipe is here if you want to try it (there’s even a video guide to it) and, trust me, it has the thumbs-up from everybody who’s enjoyed it at our table. And no, they’re not just being polite! We’re open about what could be improved at every sitting, so I’ll get it right when friends come over…which we all hope will be sooner than later.

Have a good weekend and I’ll be back here with you Monday.

Just a thought… If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamed of having. [Rachel Wolchin]

Well, we can hope. Here we go. You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

We’re just about on the cusp of the first long weekend of 2022 and it just so happens that Rob and I also mark our wedding anniversary this weekend. Well, actually, “mark” might even be too strong a word for it. It falls on a holiday weekend, so we didn’t bother trying to book any time away, since every place would likely be busier than we’d prefer right now. And it’s not a milestone; next year will be 35 and if we make it ’til then, maybe we’ll do something. Who the heck knows?

I joke about us not being together and neither of us has even the slightest notion of life without the other. Okay, that’s speaking for myself because without me, Rob would play even more hockey than the four games he’s booked for this week and a lot of women would scoop him up in a heartbeat. But you see, I don’t really keep his life running the way he does mine.

Seriously, I can’t imagine going on without him. And that’s why it is so painful to sit and worry one month after my brother-in-law of 40 years walked out on my sister, saying – at 80 – he wanted to live happily the rest of his life with someone else he’d recently met. And no, he didn’t leave for a younger woman. He had one: my sister is 18 years his junior. The new partner? 80. I know age doesn’t matter, but you might have had some notion of why he left.

This one sister hasn’t worked outside the home in decades and now, in her early 60s, doesn’t have any plans to, and you get a whole lot of confusion and despair. Oh – and she lives in Mexico, where their community circle is small. So, what to do?

I’ve always shared with you the personal in our own lives without getting private, and believe me there is a line, even though I blur it every now and then, but you can imagine – actually maybe you’ve even been through it – the anguish that her sisters are feeling on her behalf. Dad doesn’t know; we fear it would confuse him terribly and he’d be paralyzed with concern when there is literally nothing he can do to help. I know the feeling.

A few weeks ago I was ready to clear my calendar, chuck my fears about Covid and get on a plane to be with her, but she decided she needed time alone to figure all of this out. The helplessness one feels so far from family – from my Dad whose gal pal is in hospital and then likely rehab now for who-knows-how-long after a fall and a resulting hip replacement, and of course from an older sister, whose motto – whether dealing with a life-threatening auto-immune disease for most of her adult life, or any of the other challenges thrown her way – has been “get over it” (softened through the years to “it’ll be fine”). Mine is “get through it” and I think that she is doing that as best she can.

I tell you this story, not to air anyone’s laundry, not to garner pity or anger on behalf of my sister – believe me, we’ve got that covered, we Coven of Davis women – but just as a reminder that those of us who are in a relationship that is solid and sometimes blessedly dull cannot for a minute take it for granted.

As a co-worker of mine once said after his ex wrote a book and their break-up was a part of it: “No one knows what’s going on in a relationship except the two people in it – and sometimes even they don’t know.” Bob was absolutely right. And when we feel helpless and don’t know what to do, as in all things, we can be grateful, offer support or, best of all, just listen. And that includes in our own partnerships.

As I say, we won’t be celebrating our anniversary per se, but we will be celebrating family in all its forms. For all the foul-ups and dust-ups, the mistakes and misunderstandings, they’re ours. And if they love us, then that makes us lucky, doesn’t it?

Have a good weekend. I’m going to take Monday off and post on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter now and then (if you care to join me). You have nearly 40 Drift episodes that are free to enjoy here – be my guest! And sweet dreams.