Erin's Journals

Just a thought… My mom told me to always invest in two things: your bed and your shoes. That’s what you spend the most time in. [A mom quoted in a recent @TorontoLife tweet]

Don’t miss the video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Hey – sorry I missed doing a new journal here for you yesterday. I try really hard to keep it regular on Mondays and Thursdays because, even though things are sometimes a little too predictable for you, there should be a few things you can count on in life. I just couldn’t carve out a few extra hours and in a few weeks you’ll truly get why. But for now, thank you for being patient. Huh. Maybe there’s something to this Mental Health Week thing after all, eh?

With this Sunday being Mother’s Day, I asked my sisters to remind me of some of our mom’s advice, as I couldn’t remember any in particular. Well, it seems most had to do with men: “Love doesn’t pay the rent,” “It’s as easy to fall for a rich man as a poor man” and “Don’t rely on some man to support you.” Those were nuggets of wisdom she told at least two of my three sisters. (And where were these so-called “rich guys” anyway? Sure, now Bill Gates is available….)

As for advice to me, I remember my mom getting into her third glass of Dad’s homemade wine and telling my much older and more worldly boyfriend that he was nothing but a “gigolo.” While he laughed and I was mortified, she wasn’t wrong and I had the prescription receipts to prove it, not that I ever told her. STD TMI?

My mom was a wise woman in a great many ways and I learned a lot of my “suck-it-up-itude” from her. A combination of being born in the Dirty Thirties, having a sense of humour and a healthy but not overwhelming sense of skepticism, she helped make me who I am today. But while I’m definitely a “glass half full” person, Mom was always remembering the fact that the glass was going to be empty sooner or later – so you’d better prepare yourself.

I’d like to think that in partnership with Rob, I was able to instill in Lauren, not only a healthy optimism and the ability to look at situations in a positive way or foresee how they could turn out well, but also the lessons I learned through reading and therapy.

After Lauren died, one of her co-workers posted on her Facebook page that no matter how insane things got for him as a reporter in the field, he’d call back to the newsroom and Lauren would help him make sense of it; just had that calming maturity and I would love to think we had a hand in that. I’m not proud of everything I did as a mom, but we did a lot of things right and I hold on to every one of those.

Our daughter-in-law Brooke will attest that I’m always spouting quotes (hopefully at the right times), but when something resonates, I tend to commit it to heart and to bring it up when the situation calls for it. Lately it’s been “people who can’t communicate see everything as a fight” (definitely not aimed at her) and that Dr. Frankl quote I love about our ability to choose how we react to any given situation.

Ah, Brooke. I’m so grateful to have someone who asks and wants to hear my take on things; of course, it’s up to her what she takes to heart, what she doesn’t, and on we go. Free advice is worth what you pay for it, right? It’s been a joy as we get to know each other better now that she and her family – our family – live just a seven-minute drive away.

Of course, I’ll never be her mom, nor she my daughter – both of those positions are or were filled, especially in Brooke’s case, as her mom is alive and well. We’re both growing together and becoming completely comfortable in the mother/daughter-in-law relationship, although I kind of wish there was a warmer term, one so much less weighted with negativity than “Mother-in-Law.”

But it is what it is and how we want US to evolve and grow is completely in our control and is, fortunately, limitless. Kind of like the incredible view in this picture Brooke took the other day. She was on a rare outing from the house and I took her to a nearby beach. We sat on a log, talked and looked at the view, both hardly able to take in that this is our home now.

Surely you can’t wonder how I see the world as glass half-full, can you?

Have a lovely Mother’s Day – may the good memories outnumber the tears (and the fears) – and I’ll be back with you on Monday. Or I’ll do my very best. ‘Cause every week is Mental Health Week, my friend.

Just a thought… I never get bored. There isn’t enough time in the day for me. [Francoise Hardy]

On that note and with those words, I’ll beg your forgiveness. Everything happened all at once yesterday and I didn’t get a journal written (or shot for video). When my sleep stories podcast launches at the end of this month, you’ll get why I’m so slammed.

Instead, I came across a very sweet bit of video and you can find it on Twitter, if you link to my FB page at www.facebook.com/erindavispage or go straight to @erindavis on Twitter. I promise you it’s worth it and I’ll do my level best (and beyond) to get a journal for you tomorrow.

Thanks so much for understanding!

Erin

Just a thought… I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. [The Office character Michael Scott]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Well, hello – welcome to a new week and, yes, that new month smell is still in the air. May brings with it so much hope, including in our home: my vaccine is booked for a week today – Rob’s gotten his first dose – and my dad’s residence, after 25 cases and, tragically, one death, is now officially out of “outbreak” mode. So, yes, hope. Measured out in daily doses and press releases.

In our lives, we’re in that sort of purga-territory too. Waiting, watching, wondering what it’s going to take to get the people, who are counting on the rest of us to take precautions, to understand that you can’t spell “herd” without either He or Her. I’m not up to arguing anymore and you’ve heard enough from me on that.

So I’m getting really excited about that shot; it’ll likely be Pfizer, as that’s what Rob got last week and, except for a little shoulder soreness the next day, was just fine. I’m taking extra precautions so I’m not like Danny Glover or some character in a movie who is just like a week from retirement and then gets knocked off. I’m being super careful not to add to the Covid numbers and just lying low and waiting. Which, if you know me, gives me time to think – while I’m writing, while I’m editing, while I’m getting ready for my sleep stories podcast to launch in the next month or so.

But in the wee hours of yesterday morning, I had an idea. Okay – remember how I was looking at the upside of masks, such as hiding chin hairs, saving money on lip colour and makeup in general (’cause who wants to leave it all on the inside of a mask)? Well, I think I’ve come up with the next million dollar idea. You know those, right? That’s where you put in two million dollars and end up with half.

But bear with me: A Wax Mask.

You buy these masks with wax already in them, wear them for a bit so the wax is nice and warm and then when you get home from wherever you were, just before you take that bra off…you press it down, then RIP off the mask and voilà! No hairs, no cares!

(Side effects may include not being able to actually breathe while the mask is on. Please consult your doctor and dermatologist before buying.)

Okay – so you know I’m kidding, right? Seriously, what a rip-off!

Yeah, my mind wanders a bit these days. Reading the comments from anti-vaxxers yesterday on a post from Jann Arden, who proudly got her vaccine, I wanted to gouge my eyes out, but instead, stilled my fingers and prevented myself from commenting – taking some of that advice from last week’s journal to “disengage” – and went on with my life.

But to those who say “my body, my choice”: your right to punch ends at my face. You get the virus and one of my grandkids gets it, how did that choice work out for your body when it affected two little people or their classmates, or grandparents or…ah, you see? I’m just going to put this mask back on and wait until I get my shot.

“My journal, my opinion.” That sounds so obnoxious, doesn’t it? But just remember these actual words of wisdom: “If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”

You have a great week and I’ll be back with you here on Thursday, waxing poetic as always.

Just a thought… The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. [Viktor Frankl]

As usual, you can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

So I’m going to give myself a little spiritual pep talk today, and I’m hoping that if this is a message you need to hear, too, you get out of it what I’m putting in.

Earlier this week, as part of a Canadian Real Estate Association podcast I do called Real Time, I had a long talk about psychological and personal well-being with Dr. Winny Shen.  She’s an Associate Professor at York University, an expert on worker health and well-being and many other issues, but while I’m listening to her, I’m also thinking about you. About me. About how we’re getting through this together – apart.

Burnout was something she talked about – and I think (actually, I know) that a lot of us are suffering from this where Covid is concerned. I mean, whoever thought we’d be into this now 14 months in – the loneliness, the anxiety, the grief over what we’ve lost this past year. And you’re allowed to feel burned out, which is described as physical, mental and emotional fallout from a prolonged period of stress, which we have most definitely been in.

Many people feel that they are running on empty: tired, worn out and depleted. Some people can also feel cynical like, “What’s the point in all of these precautions when some people are just ignoring them?” It’s easy to feel cynical, angry and helpless when we can’t see a finish line; we don’t know what this crawl over glass is for, when some people are skipping along on pogo sticks and treating it like a big summer carnival.

So what do we do? Some of the messages from Dr. Shen that were most valuable to me were about self-care. Detaching. Which I took to mean from negative conversations, especially where you’re not possibly going to enlighten anyone or change their minds. I mean, why not just hit your head against a wall? You’re the one who ends up with the headache, while the wall is just fine and ready for you the next time you open Facebook.

But on the positive side, detaching also means taking time to do something kind for yourself. For many people in lockdown, the simple pleasures like visits with family or a trip to the hairdresser or even taking in a movie in a theatre or going to the mall just aren’t a possibility. So find something that will make you feel good. Soak your feet and put on a fresh coat of polish. You’ll see those coral piggies, and so what if no one else does – it’s a reminder you did something kind for yourself.

And finally, if you’re feeling like there aren’t enough hours in the day – as people who are working through this pandemic are – try to make a time diary for a few days and keep track of how you spend your time. And then, in INK, make sure you carve out time for you.

For me, that means taking that long bath or a Netflix binge or whatever makes me feel like I’ve had a break. And please, try to get as much sleep as you can, while balancing it with whatever exercise your restrictions allow. You’ll sleep better, your body will thank you for it and you’ll come out of this actually ready to sprint to that finish line.

On that note, thank you for coming by and always giving me something on the horizon, not just to put on makeup for, but to look forward to. (I’ll spend the weekend picking up those inverted prepositions, but for now…I’ll be gentle and leave them there.) Take good care of yourself. A lot of people need you to be healthy and to see setbacks as chances for better outcomes. Be the kid digging in the manure pile, searching for the pony. It has always worked for me…that’s all I know for sure.

Just a thought… God bless that potential that we all have for making anything possible if we think we deserve it. I deserve this. [Shirley MacLaine, Best Actress, Terms of Endearment]

If you’d like to watch a video version of this journal, you can see it on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

I didn’t dress up for the Oscars last night and host a party with a few good friends (as Rob and I did two years ago) so I’m dressing up for you today. Because why the heck not, right?

Didn’t even watch the Oscars, for the first time in my adult life. Even when we were on trips, I’d set the VCR or PVR and catch up later. The year I had Lauren, I made sure I caught some of the Oscars the next night from our hospital room. Not this year.

I don’t think I saw one single movie that was nominated. Usually in the weeks between the nominations and the actual awards night, we’d binge like crazy so that we could have favourites and see how they fared. Not this year.

Yes, there are ways to pay to see the nominees in the comfort of our own home (where the snacks are way cheaper but the popcorn just ain’t the same) but we’re so weighted down – no, there’s got to be another way to say that so it doesn’t sound like a burden – with podcast and speech projects plus, of course, family time, that if we’re lucky, we stop working (editing mostly, each on our computers with headphones on) at about 9 pm and watch an hour of something we’ve recorded and then go to bed. That’s unless there’s a hockey game, in which case Rob watches and I edit, jumping when he yelps over something the Leafs have done.

Don’t get me wrong; this is all a labour of love, as I truly find fulfillment in what I’m doing. Speaking of which, don’t forget to join me, if you’re interested, for Tuesday’s Facebook live (www.facebook.com/erindavispage) with Yvonne from Home Equity Bank talking about CHIP mortgages – the ones you see Kurt Browning doing the ads for. Mmmmm…chips.

Now, where was I? Yes. Not watching movies. I know there’s some great stuff out there and one day I’ll catch it – or not. I am not feeling in the mood for anyone’s angst; I have enough of it going on behind the scenes here. There’s a reason I got sucked into a wonderful rabbit hole of Karen Carpenter drumming videos yesterday – do look them up – and Gene Kelly dancing on roller skates. Momma needs her happy place.

To a very unhappy place, thanks for asking: Dad is getting a walker and seems to be recovering well after the fall and the unconscious spell that led up to and followed it last week. But the worst news is that after dodging a bullet for well over a year, his residence in Kelowna now has its first Covid-19 death, and there are some 11 cases, including one staff member. So there’s a lot of worry. He’s had his first shot, but not everyone did.

But please, keep marching and telling me about your civil rights. Of course, these same people expect to march into the ICU when they get Covid and take a bed that should have been held for someone who actually adulted their way through a pandemic. Nothing is fair about this.

Oops, I got sidetracked again. Well, my friend, I shall go for now and we’ll see you perhaps tomorrow night. Think positive, test negative and we’ll talk to you then.