Erin's Journals

Just a thought… We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light. [Earl Nightingale]

Welcome to the start of another week.

Today: some lights. In one instance, literally.

A light went on for me Saturday night as we were watching Episode 9 of the latest season of The Crown. I know it’s been out for a while, but we’ve been savouring it, taking our time; who knows when the next and final season will be out?

As I sat there watching the admittedly fictionalized account of the demise of the marriage of Prince Charles and Diana, Princess of Wales, it occurred to me: getting upset about the way he was treating her and how the whole thing went down 30 years ago is almost as useless as me literally losing sleep about what’s happening in the US these days.

I can do nothing about it. I can’t save their marriage or beg her not to go into that Paris tunnel. I can’t implore lawmakers to stand up for what’s right. I just can’t. So…in my mind, I have a remote and I turn it off.

At least for a bit.

Here’s something else we can control: the joy we let in. Also Saturday night, I read a tweet from @jannarden. The Canadian singer-songwriter-activist-comic-author-national treasure (am I running out of hyphens yet?) said she’s leaving her Christmas tree up until she gets the vaccine. Rob and I looked at the online calculator that shows when we’re likely to get it and it would seem that if we did as Jann is doing, our tree would be up until probably Canadian Thanksgiving.

So, with a puppy, maybe no. We’re trying to let her have some freedom, but munching on ornaments is not within those parameters.

But other people added their comments and they were delightful. One person said her tree stays up until Lunar or Chinese New Year (which comes February 12, when the year of the Rat leaves and the Ox comes in – boy is that fitting!). Another said hers will be decorated with Valentines and then Easter eggs and on and on.

I mean, why not? Who says a tree – an artificial one, of course, or you end up with a big old pile of needles – has to come down on a certain date? If it makes you feel good, just leave the darned thing up.

Celebrate the memories of years past. The hope that comes with the Christmas season. Blast your Mariah Carey, your Trans-Siberian Orchestra and Michael Bublé to your heart’s content. It’s all about controlling the things you can. And as always, being gentle to yourself. Talk to you again Thursday.

Just a thought… We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light. [Earl Nightingale]

Today’s vlog is about finding the light. And you may even use this as a welcome reason not to do something you’ve been kind of dreading. I promise it makes sense when you watch, and if you so choose, there’s a written version coming here tomorrow. Or click on the CC button beneath the video screen and you’ll get captions there.

Have a gentle day – enjoy. I promise it’s enlightening (quite literally).

Just a thought… It’s like a battle, trying to find the right words to say at the right time. [Tupac Shakur]

What, another video journal so soon? Yes, and if you watch, you’ll see why (and me in my PJ’s). Yesterday was simply emotionally exhausting and I wasn’t sure I could find the right words to write (or the write words, too right) so I shot a vlog.

But…you get a Rosie cameo and a simple prayer that kept me going through yesterday’s mayhem. If I can find the time today I’ll recap in a written version and post it tomorrow – and I’ll explain that too. So watch it, already, will you? Here’s the link. 

Thank you my friend.

Just a thought… Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. [Meister Eckhardt]

Here’s the written version of Monday’s vlog: 

Welcome in to a brand new year. Yes, from where I sit, it looks quite a bit like the old one, too, and yet instead of the start, we’re partway to the finish. It’s unfair that we can’t see the finish line, I know, but we just have to believe that it’s there, don’t we? That’s why I’d call this first journal of 2021 “Fireworks in the Fog.”

The holidays were a blessed blur of warmth and comfort. If you’re like me, you made the most of the situation in which we found ourselves – melancholy and all – while also embracing reasons to be grateful. And goodness knows, 2020 brought our little family four very good reasons to count our blessings: Colin, Jane, Brooke and Phil.

On Christmas morning I peeked out the living room window in hopes of seeing, not reindeer, but even one deer grazing or resting in the grassy, tree-dotted yard to set the tone for our day. Alas, there was none. But later, not one minute after mentioning that, as we were out with Rosie, Rob said, “Look up!” and there, flying low and just over our heads, was a flock of white swans.

I didn’t have time to get a picture; instead, I watched and counted 11. Of course there were (11 is a big number in our lives). Lauren was sending us a special Christmas hello, just as she did with the big bald eagle that flew past our window on our first Dec. 25 on Vancouver Island in 2016. Quite enough of a sign for me, thanks Loo.

The most accurate sign, if you will, an encapsulation of the year that is to come, appeared in a way on New Year’s Eve. As Rob, Colin and I counted down in the hot tub and watched the ball drop on a (safely distanced) computer screen at 9 pm our time, we clinked glasses and kissed. My eyes got teary as they always do at this moment and then we listened: even at the time it was in BC, three hours before our actual year change, we could hear the popping of distant fireworks.

Now, we couldn’t actually see them because of a fog that had rolled in just a few minutes earlier. Still – we knew they were there. And that, I came to believe, is as good an analogy for 2021 as there is: know that there will be cause for celebration, even if it’s far off or not within sight. We have to believe that the light and brilliance – the joy, if you will – are still there, even if we can’t see them right now. I guess that’s where faith comes in, doesn’t it?

Thank you for sharing this written version and I’ll be back with another on Thursday. We’ll let you know then the decision regarding vlogs and so on – and some thought-provoking feedback. You never disappoint.

Just a thought… Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. [Meister Eckhardt]

Today – a fresh start and something new. I thought, for a change, I’d do a video journal. A “vlog” is what the kids call it, but I’ll explain in it why I decided to give this a try.

Let me know if you’d like me to do it this way occasionally; just post at my Facebook page or, if you’re not on FB, drop me a line here.

Thank you for starting this 18th year of journals with me here in 2021. We can do this. 

Here’s the link.