Erin's Journals

Just a thought… No day shall erase you from the memory of time. [Virgil]

I guess there should be words – some way to offer comfort or perspective here – after an event such as the tragedy in Nova Scotia this weekend, where RCMP Constable Heidi Stevenson, a mother of two and 23-year police veteran, and 15 others (numbers are not firm as I write this) lost their lives in a shooting rampage.

There are so few words that can mean anything at this time of devastating loss.

You’ll read more, hear plenty, about this heinous crime which was planned meticulously and carried out with horrific results by a maniac on an evil mission. You have news sources for that information, including the condition of those who were shot and survived, one of whom is a fellow RCMP officer.

There will be time for questions, as if answers could provide any comfort; I can promise you that they won’t. How do you make sense of a completely unfathomable tragedy?

Today we are all Nova Scotians, mourning together and separately, as we grieve the loss of good people who were in a peaceful place and who died so terribly, so needlessly. We wish their families, their friends and co-workers strength when they need it, compassion always, and whatever consolation there may be in knowing how many hearts are breaking along with theirs today.

No good-byes. Funerals will have to wait until some kind of normal returns to life in our country. But for those who suffer, there will never be such a thing again.

The grief goes on forever, and for that, my heart breaks for them.

Please know this: Love Never Dies.

Just a thought… As sure as time, history is repeating itself and as sure as man is man, history is the last place he’ll look for his lessons. [Harper Lee]

I can’t even believe it’s only been a month today since we nervously caught our flight home to Canada from California. So much has…not changed. But tempers are simmering, with fuel being added to the fire by people who are absolutely ignorant to, and uncaring about, what opening everything again could cause in the not-so-long run.

If you’re like me, you’re watching with incredulity, loathing and, yes, some fear the people who are losing their nut about having to stay inside. The ones being egged on by their “leader” through and with the help of his main platform, the propaganda TV network that is champing at the bit to get everyone back out on the streets, onto transit and into crowded workplaces, before the virus has even peaked, in many places.

Of course, I’m referring to this round of the virus; the bigger world picture demonstrates that there will be another wave of it, if COVID-19 isn’t given a chance to die off, which is what SARS did in the early 2000s. 

Do we all want to stay in? Of course not! There are millions of people in this country and everywhere else who are desperately worried every day and night about how to pay their bills and feed their families. Our government’s efforts to help mitigate some of the financial pain is helping, but it can’t bring back businesses that will shut down, never to reopen.

There have already been lasting effects and we will see more for years to come. But don’t we owe it to others and ourselves to try to get life back to some semblance of normalcy by following the guidelines (and in some case orders) of those who have actual medical degrees and insight into how this new virus works?

The “just like the flu” and “I have my rights!” crowds seem unable or unwilling to understand that a virus that strikes your respiratory system as drastically as this one can has the capability of leaving you with lifelong lung problems.

This includes children and young people, so often pointed to as being more likely to be immune to or recover more easily from this disease. The detrimental after-effects could prove permanent. No, this is not the flu. Or car accidents. Or any other ridiculous false equivalency that we’ve been hearing from people with no more medical knowledge than I have.

But, you know, just like the folks who had to go to the beach on the long weekend in JAWS, they chose to ignore actual facts. Just as they have when it comes to climate change and anything else they don’t want to acknowledge or can barely understand.

They refuse to listen to history, as in the case of the Spanish Flu (which began in Kansas in the US, for what it’s worth) in 1918 – not 1917 as tRump keeps saying. When WWI ended, it was decided by some that, despite the deadly flu, people needed morale boosted in the form of big celebrations and parades. And guess what?

Those gregarious gatherings brought about an entire new round of devastation and death. There were three deadly waves of the Spanish Flu, which cost more lives than the Great War itself. More reading here.

My heart goes out to the health care workers who are going to put their own lives on the line to treat those patients who don’t take seriously the science that they’ll call upon to save their sorry souls.

I just wish they could sign one of these before they go to the beach, to the rallies and every other gathering.

We are seeing humanity at its absolute worst in our next-door neighbour and, if my Twitter feed yesterday is any indication, right here in Canada, too, where it appears that hatred for the prime minister or his party often supersedes any intelligent thought.

We can do our part and hope that those who choose not to, who would rather Live Free and Die, to mangle an American slogan, will stay home. Thankfully, a closed Canadian border will help keep out some of the stupidity.

Now let’s spread the message to the ones here who aren’t getting it – before they really get it, and keep this virus going on and on and on.

Because that’s how these work: you can’t pray it away, you can’t protest it until it skulks back to where it came from, you can’t get sick to “own the libs” (get back at the people you hate) or to show “Turdeau” (as the haters like to call him) who’s boss.

We fight together, we stay at home. We wait this out like the responsible adults we’re supposed to be and we listen to the advice of experts.

We can do this.

Just a thought… Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you. [Katie Reed]

Is anyone else having an awfully hard time sleeping these days? So much of it has to do with my busy brain: I come up with things to worry about, things about which I can do absolutely nothing!

I’ve stopped reading news on my iPhone before bed (which invariably gets my blood boiling) and I think the next step is stopping the late night talk shows. The humour in the monologues is just too infuriating; when they’re based on the endless stream of idiocy coming out of DC, the laughs aren’t there any more.

Although, here’s one: with the opening of beaches in Jacksonville, Florida, I had to laugh at a meme that said, “Having some states lock down and some states not lock down is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.” It would be funnier if it wasn’t so deadly. 

So I remind myself to return to the “Serenity Prayer”:

As some of us find our tempers a little shorter than usual, our patience a bit harder to find, I am grateful to share this with you from a journal reader. She sent it about a month ago and its timing today is serendipitous. She writes:

I just read a post/story of why a Bear hibernates all winter long. This came from a young lady named Cheyenne Thomas… I have been feeling very caged in with isolation and social distancing, and my partner Joseph gave me a bear teaching:

When a bear goes into hibernation, they do it for the health of their community and themselves. In the winter, food is scarce, hibernating allows other animals to have access to the limited resources. It slows the spread of disease and viruses among other animals during a season when immune systems are lowered, and energy is limited.

It is also a time of conserving health for the bear, a time for reflection…it is a time that allows you to renew, to undergo change, to honour your place in life and food cycles.

It is not a time for anxiety or fear. When it is time for hibernation, a bear can finally relax. All of the stress of finding food, territory, and a mate disappears. The bear believes that they have done enough and trust in themselves. They know this process is necessary and they will come out the other side renewed.

Be the bear. Stay home. Rest. Know you are doing this for something much bigger than yourself.

I hope that this gentle, natural perspective helps make this time a little more bearable, if you will.

Take good care and I’ll be back here tomorrow. Sleep well.

Just a thought… Inspiration comes during work, not before it. [Madeleine L’Engle]

It’s funny how 24 hours can pass so slowly – or so quickly – depending on so much that goes outside of us, and within us. We mark our day with meals or the smallest of rituals that help us hold on to a semblance of normalcy. For some, that means sharing time here, and I’m grateful. It’s from you that I get my inspiration.

This connection here means more than my words can express, but I think I’ve tried often enough. So we’ll keep this 7-day-a-week journal going for as long as we need to. I pepper them with videos and light moments, and cherish the thought that we’re spending some time together, just you and I. And say a silent prayer each day that everyone we love stays safe.

Here in BC, we’ve been given an extraordinary gift in the person of one Dr. Bonnie Henry, who has been on this virus since January as our Provincial Health Officer.

A recent article about her told some of Dr. Henry’s backstory: former navy, she’s worked with the WHO on polio eradication and her history includes working in Uganda on an Ebola outbreak. Nearly two decades ago, she worked in Ontario where, after SARS, she talked with every family that had lost a member and knew the impact it had had on them. Imagine that.

Her BC Health predecessor calls her an “example of grace under pressure – of honesty, straight-forwardness, empathy and communication.” He goes on to say that he doesn’t think he’d have done the job as well as she’s doing. It is that care and expertise that she brings with her to shepherd us through these times. There’s even been a sweet ballad written in her honour. Thank you, Dr. Henry!

Even the shoe designer John Fluevog has saluted the good – no, great – doctor. If you’re not familiar with Fluevogs (which I was not until my friend Lisa Brandt expressed her great love for these unusual, Canadian-designed shoes) they’re unique designs that are like pieces of art on your feet and in your closet. I don’t have a pair, but Dr. Henry is a fan. And in her honour, Mr. Fluevog has done this.

I’m hoping that when all of this is over, Dr. Henry receives honours in the form of the Order of Canada and whatever laurels a grateful country and province can send her way. We bow at her feet, no matter what she has on them.

Here at home, my own designer, Rob, has been busy. Remember those extra pillowcases I was sent a year ago by Wayfair, by accident? (I’d ordered a few pair and got a few dozen instead.) The ones that we didn’t give away have been put to further good use: masks.

So proud was I of Rob’s handiwork that I sent the picture of his finished product to my friend Lori, a friend since our elementary school days in Trenton and Belleville, Ontario, who is now an Infection Control Practitioner in the Quinte region. See if you can spot what’s wrong with this picture. And “your roots are dark” is not an answer!

It doesn’t have a nose pinch! For a professional, this mask did not pass the smell (or breath) test. She suggested that, for some who are making their own masks, a plastic-coated twist tie (to prevent rust) is a good nose pincher, while I suppose if you had a nose clip for swimming, that would be super handy too!

Lori sent me an approved pattern of hers and if you’d like, I can forward it to you via email (erin@erindavis.com). But here are a few pics of some very well-made masks that Lori shared with me. They were made by a friend of hers named Bettina.

I understand from emails I received in response to yesterday’s journal and on FB that lots of individuals and groups have put their sewing machines to work for the cause. It’s still incredible that we are doing this now, but here we are. Might as well do it in style!

Have a gentle Friday and if this day ushers in a weekend off work for you, congratulations. YOU are appreciated and loved, and I can only hope you know that. Thank you for what you’re doing to keep us safe; the very least we can do is return the favour by caring enough not to spread this virus.

I’ll be back with you tomorrow.

Just a thought… One of the hardest things in life is letting go of what you thought was real. [attributed to numerous sources]

An update on Miss Molly: turns out, like most of us, she was just bored. I can’t blame her; she’s on a diet for her kidneys and she’s tired of the food. So we shook things up with a bit of egg and some rice, and she devoured it. So on we go…with a question.

What is the mask rule, anyway? (Don’t answer; it’s rhetorical.)

Before Rob went to the grocery store on Sunday, we scoured the house and garage for anything that even resembled a mask and came up empty. Instead, I gave him a linen scarf (a nice dark one, not flowery or anything) and asked him to be sure to wear it, up under his glasses and over his ears covering his cheeks and chin. He promised he would.

He didn’t.

Why? Because when he got into the grocery store, no one was wearing a mask or a scarf. Not a shopper, not a staffer, no one. So he felt really stupid, like he was “overreacting” by putting on a scarf and looking like a bandit.

I can’t blame him; avoiding being embarrassed is a strong motivator for me. And I can hear you yelling, “Getting a deadly virus is worse than being embarrassed!” so, yeah. You’re right. It’s a ridiculous response to a surreal situation and I don’t know why we’re so armed when we leave the house and then when we look around we go, “Huh. Maybe we’re over reacting….”

Well, it is that bad. And lackadaisical attitudes like that will get us – or others – sick. So, as of today: masks. No exceptions. We’re just going to wear them.

There’s this bizarre disconnect between what we read and know, and what we do. Call it cognitive dissonance if you like: the reason we do things even though we know they’re bad for us. (I’m kind of a queen of that.) However, we got this message from the neighborhood (yes, without a “u” in this case) association in Palm Springs.

That’s how serious California is; every place seems to have different rules, but trust Palm Springs to make their posters super artsy!

Speaking of masks, here’s something you’ll want to see. I happened to catch this on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert this week, and I wanted to share it with you. The lovely Matthew McConaughey shot a video to illustrate how to make a simple DIY mask. And although we don’t have bandanas, we do have any number of pieces of material left over from Rob’s sewing projects. So yes, we’re making masks.

Stay safe, stay sane and watch this video. It’s cool and helpful. And you’re going to want to share it with your loved ones…but tomorrow I’ll have pics of the ones Rob has made, plus some solid tips from a nurse pal of mine whose job it has been to supervise mask making and wearing, on what we need to do to make this more efficient. Talk to you then.