Erin's Journals

Just a thought… Feeling gratitude and not expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it. [William Arthur Ward]

Ah, Palm Sunday. Lauren was born on a Palm Sunday in 1991; one week later, after we were sprung from hospital following a bout of jaundice caused by her arriving three weeks early, I put her in a bright yellow dress for Easter Sunday mass. Since her skin tone was a combination of red and yellow, the dress looked AWFUL. But I thought that since I’d had it on a doll for years, it would be nice to have her in it. Thankfully, I don’t have a picture to share!

How far we’ve come in baby fashions! Seeing the outfits that Brooke puts on darling Jane just lifts our hearts. Brooke’s generous with pictures and was hoping to dress up her little doll to take out but, of course, that’s not happening. So we get to share in the sweetness!

Colin’s call with Grandad was super cute yesterday and he’d made a sign that said Happy Birthday Grandad on it. A hand-drawn card arrived in yesterday’s mail, just in time, and it was just wonderful. 

As for Rob’s birthday, because we’ve basically ordered everything we need online, I couldn’t come up with one thing for him this time. But he got lots of phone calls and emails and greetings from folks on my social media, so it was a nice day, topped off by a beautiful turkey dinner we prepared together and from which we’ll have a week’s worth of meals. It was far cooler in our neck of the woods (about 8C) than it was for many folks who read this journal and we are waiting for island weather to improve!

I’ve been visiting with my dad by phone a lot; he calls about every three days and although many of the stories are ones he’s told me in previous calls, I sure don’t mind. They’re exercising extreme caution in the place he calls home in Kelowna and we’re relieved about that.

There don’t seem to be any cases there and they’re even lowering the rent by 15% because the residents can’t take part in the usual activities and use the facilities the way they normally would. Also, given that many of the staff have been laid off, their overhead is much lower. Nice move, though, to reduce the costs of living there for the folks who are pretty much isolated from their loved ones.

I’m so glad Dad has his companion Dawna and that they’re able to enjoy their dinners together each evening, as well as quiet time spent with Dad reading to her from the various books about The Bible that she enjoys.

They did have a “block party” of sorts this past week though: residents set up chairs outside their doors and listened to a musician who played and sang for them from down the hall. Quite inventive, I’d say, and good for keeping up people’s spirits!

Dad made his usual Easter joke about hiding his own eggs next Sunday, so all is well with his sense of humour. We talk about the Blue Jays World Series reruns, climate change (his favourite topic to get me going), the weather and what my sisters are up to.

Here’s one of my favourite photos with my Dad, taken five years ago.

I’m fearful every day of losing this soon-to-be 87-year-0ld man, but we know that, given his prostate cancer diagnosis near 20 years ago, every day with him – on the phone or in person – is a gift.

Come to think of it, if these times have reminded us of anything, for ALL of us, every day is a gift.

And I’m grateful that you come here each day just to share in a moment of the unwrapping.

Stay safe, stay healthy – and I’ll be back with you here tomorrow.

Just a thought… I exist in two places, here and where you are. [Margaret Atwood]

Welcome in – and I’ve got a treat for us on a special day.

I thought I’d share with you today – thanks to their mom Brooke and dad Phil – pictures of two of the sweetest faces in our world. They’re thousands of kilometres away, yes, but we get to share some Facetime every weekend and Brooke sends us photos on a wonderfully regular basis.

This is sweet baby Jane. She turned six months old on the 30th, has two shiny teeth and is just a total beauty. Last Sunday when we were chatting with Colin, as Daddy carried Jane, she reached out her arm and waved back at us. We thought that was sweet, but what’s even more remarkable is Phil said she hadn’t done that before! It’s just that easy for that little petunia to wrap us around her fingers.

The most wonderful thing is how she and Colin adore each other. He has such fun making her laugh and she doesn’t take her eyes off him.

It won’t be a surprise now, as Rob will read this before it gets posted, but our Sunday Facetime has been moved up to today since it’s his birthday. It promises to be the highlight of his day – ’cause he’s going to be wanting some “cuddling” and I’m gonna be like…

Have a gentle day – try to stay sane and I’ll be back here with you tomorrow.

Just a thought… Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, that we fail to notice the little things that give life its magic. [Angel Chernoff]

This should feel like a bit of a freedom day for Rob and for me: two weeks ago we began our Canadian self-isolation and our 14 days are up. I’d been self-isolating for two weeks prior to that in California, as I had a bit of a cough and didn’t want to scare other people.

Something I learned from Stephen Colbert the other night: the etymology of the word “quarantine.” From Wikipedia:

The word quarantine comes from quarantena, meaning “forty days,” used in the 14th-15th-century Venetian language and designating the period that all ships were required to be isolated before passengers and crew could go ashore during the Black Death plague epidemic.

By the way, the late night shows are back. I’m loving that we can see the humorous moments, even in some of the most horrific events in our history, through the eyes of the hosts and their teams of writers. It’s the only way I can digest what is happening, and saves me from having to watch any of Trump’s podium rallies.

“#1 on Facebook,” he bragged like a nine-year-old the other day. Not only is that a lie (as if it matters, because President Obama has far more FB followers), but just think of how ridiculous he sounded saying it.

“New tone” or not, it’s still mindboggling that this malignant narcissist is at the helm and spewing his garbage. As I say, thankfully, someone else is watching it for us. Torontonian and former Star reporter Daniel Dale, now a Trump fact-checker, should get danger pay. And free therapy.

Come to think of it, that’s what we could all use these days. When we look back at the end of January, we’re almost certain that Rob had a case of the coronavirus. Of course, we don’t know for sure, but he was sicker than he could ever remember being: exhausted, coughing and, although he didn’t have a thermometer, a suspected fever.

At that time, I was in Ottawa and not around to help or catch it from him, but I can’t remember him being that sick. Given that he’d been in a local casino just prior to that, with its cesspool of germ-laden buttons and surfaces, and people who’d come from who-knows-where, it’s entirely possible that’s where he picked up a bug.

If that’s the case, then the incubation period was fast – less than three days. In retrospect, it seems possible, as it appears this virus is affecting people with varying intensities. If it was COVID-19, we’re very fortunate, we know. And we’re still exercising extreme caution. 

We want to give blood. We want to go grocery shopping. Those two things, I think we can do with the proper precautions. We have a package to pick up at the post office after a Canada Post worker inexplicably left a notice at our front door earlier this week – without ringing the doorbell – when we were both inside the house (which he or she might have expected).

Perhaps that’s the new protocol for the people on the front lines and, if so, we respect it – completely. But we weren’t looking forward to going anywhere except to pick up a few supplies: a turkey dinner seems to be in our immediate future.

I received a video that I thought was well worth sharing. In it, a store employee outlines what she needs from US and everything in this is a solid reminder of how to protect and conduct ourselves during the rare outings we make. Here’s a link.

Please take a few minutes to watch and share this informative and entertaining video, and thanks for coming by. Tomorrow – yes, another Saturday journal on the way – I’m going to treat you to a few pictures of our six-month old baby banana granddaughter Jane that I think will take your mind off all of our worries, if only for a moment or two.

Stay safe, stay sane. We can do this.

Just a thought… Obedience is an act of faith; disobedience is the result of unbelief. [Edwin Louis Cole]

Or, Mr. Cole, defiance and stupidity?

Fines. Big fines. Being levied against people like an acquaintance of my friend Lisa, who got slapped with $1000 tag for taking his kids to the playground. On the surface (which is where the viruses live) this might seem heavy-handed. But nope. The rules are there for all of us, and who knows who played there, or left their germy germs all over the swing chains and slide ladder?

Then there are the five guys who were sharing a bottle of vodka at 2 in the afternoon at a TTC bus stop in Toronto, all hit with fines of $880.

Did these bozos think that somehow that MYTH about vodka disarming the COVID-19 virus (it doesn’t – even the highest proof vodka isn’t strong enough) was true? Yeah, vodka can solve a lot of problems (although I’m here to tell you it causes a LOT more), but that’s not true about the germ killing. They’ve found out the hard way that they, too, have to obey the rules.

Meantime, down in Florida, their alleged governor has agreed to allow in 49 FLORIDIANS who’ve been stranded off shore on the Holland America cruise ship the Zaandam. Not even the other Americans, just the people from his state, will be allowed to get off.

If he ever knew about it, Ron DeSantis is forgetting entirely the way Newfoundland took in more planes and stranded passengers than anyone could have imagined they’d handle – but they did so, and beautifully. Maybe someone could take him to a theatre when this is all over to see the hit show that tells the story of those dark days after 9/11. Although, this meme perhaps says it best now…

I shared that with a producer of the show, who sent it on to others in Newfoundland, who got a big hoot out of it. But we all know they’d still welcome people – including a shipload of non-Canadians – if they were asked to. It’s called doing the right thing.

Ron DeSantis is not even “America First” like his DC hero, Cheetolini. He’s Florida First. Now, down the road – especially the I-75 and I-95 – will this have an effect on snowbirds’ plans to visit the panhandle state in the future? Or any other Americans’, for that matter?

Because if public opinion counts for anything, this guy, who’s been dragging his feet on limiting public gatherings and closing beaches like the mayor of Amity Island in JAWS, deserves to be the next meal at Joe Exotic’s nice little zoo, whatever has become of it.

I’m referring here to Tiger King, the docu-series that dropped on Netflix last week and was so widely bingewatched that the name of a woman in the series was trending on Twitter on Saturday night. That made Rob and me hurry to watch the entire trainwreck; we didn’t want it to be spoiled for us before we’d seen it.

So let me tell you about Tiger King. It’s about a guy who is bat guano crazy and runs an exotic animal farm in Oklahoma. He sets his sights on a woman who runs an animal “rescue” park (you’ll know why the quotation marks if you see this show) in – of course – Florida.

Everybody’s got guns. Somebody loses half an arm. A rich husband is missing and rumours abound that he was some big cats’ satisfying snack (or he’s buried somewhere nearby). It’s as if Honey Boo Boo opened a zoo. Absolutely starkers, as our British friends say.

I don’t know how my brain recovered from watching a mini-series about snappy Broadway geniuses Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon one night to witnessing the gooberific spectacle of Tiger King the next, but it has, I think.

The whole time I’m watching the latter, I’m thinking: This – this is how Trump got elected. But many of the bat-guano-craziest of the bunch – some of whom have more wives and husbands than they do teeth (and I am not kidding about that, thanks to meth) – claim to be Libertarians. Gimme my guns, my gums, my tigers and my meth, and leave the gubmint out of it. Just let me be.

As desperate as some of those poor souls on the ship off Florida are to disembark every single minute, do they really want to get out there?

I’ll be back with you here tomorrow. I’m thinking of so many people who are suffering these days – especially the good people in and around Bobcaygeon, a town that captured my heart summer after summer. My heart is with yours.

Just a thought… Write what you love. Love will hold you through the hard times and hold the world during the good times. [Mark Z. Danielewski]

April Fool’s?!? I can’t even go there. Not today, pranksters, not today.

Instead, what I’ll do is give you a link to a new piece I wrote for Silken Laumann’s inspirational website. What’s the four-time Olympian rower been up to? Here’s a piece from a news release that came out just over a year ago:

“Silken Laumann reveals UNSINKABLE, a story-sharing platform to empower Canadians to walk the talk when it comes to mental health. UNSINKABLE will host stories of courage, resiliency, transformation and the strategies behind the success. Canadians can expect stories from everyday Canadians, well-known Canadians, Canadian youth and Canadian health experts. 

Four-time Olympian, Silken Laumann reveals the official launch date of Unsinkable – a storytelling platform for Canadians to share stories that will empower other Canadians to greatness. (CNW Group/UNSINKABLE)

“Motivated by her own personal struggles and eventual triumph to greatness, Laumann dreamed of connecting and inspiring people through personal experiences on a large digital scale. The dialogue around mental health has shifted significantly since the launch of Bell Let’s Talk and UNSINKABLE will give Canadians strategies they can apply to everyday life.” You can visit weareunsinkable.com to dive in.

I was approached by Silken’s team to write a piece for them based on my book Mourning Has Broken: Love, Loss and Reclaiming Joy (HarperCollins Canada). What I came up with was the importance of remembering the person who’s gone – and how important it is to those of us left behind that her or his name is not forgotten. On her birthday. On the day of her passing. The big red-letter days in our lives that pass by so easily for everyone else.

I get it. Life has gone on, the world has kept turning. But this piece emphasizes how much it means when those we love remember the one we loved most of all.

The timing of the story’s release March 22 was chosen by the Unsinkable folks and was meant to coincide with the release of my book in softcover; it also came out just a few days before what should have been Lauren’s 29th birthday. As it is, this day marks three years since my sister’s son, my nephew Michael, died in a house explosion in Kelowna. To date, there’s been no progress in the arson/murder case that we’ve been made aware of, and as always we send my little sister love and strength.

But this is also a happy day: today Lauren’s (and now Brooke’s) husband Phil celebrates his birthday and we send him more love than Canada Post can carry. He’s a beautiful example of how to reclaim joy and Rob and I are immensely proud of this man and the loving, lovely family that embraces him today in Ottawa.

Here’s the story and thank you for sharing in our journey. Have a gentle day and I’ll be back with you tomorrow.