Just a thought… Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world. [Pema Chödrön]
Welcome in, my friend. It’s a new year (which you’ve undoubtedly noticed by now) and for me, a time to adjust goals. If you’re among those who say, “Well, two-thirds of people who set resolutions abandon them within a month,” you’re right. But don’t forget that one-third that are still keeping them! That’s not quite a glass half-full, but it will have to do.
Whether it’s thanks to the flip of the calendar or a much-needed scenery shift, I’m getting my optimism back. 2024 was an Annus Horribilis (to quote the queen that didn’t feature Freddie Mercury) in our lives. Between events in our home and in the world around us, I had an awful time getting out of bed some days.
So what has changed?
Two simple words: Let Them. I mentioned it in an earlier blog a couple of weeks ago. Basically, the Let Them Theory can be boiled down to a few ideas, but into which author Mel Robbins delves far more deeply than I will: you can only control your reaction to what happens around you. Do make a difference where you can! But as Stoicism and the Serenity Prayer and Buddhism and many great thinkers have articulated, the answer to coming to peace within is in how you react to what’s happening to and around you.
Sounds simple, right? Of course it isn’t! But just taking on that mantra (which, yes, I’m getting tattooed on my right forearm in a few months) has provided a huge shift in my whole being.
I’ve also started another book called Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison, a title I stumbled upon in a thread about something else completely. And this marks another big change.
See, for the past two-and-a-half years, I’ve adhered to a stricter-than-strict low-carb regimen. It’s not for everyone and I know that any plan that tells you fruit isn’t your friend is just…insane. I lost the weight I needed to, but now I’m exhausted with the rules and the denials of so many small pleasures. It’s time to cut myself some slack and point myself towards health instead of a size.
The brilliant writer Anne Lamott put it beautifully: “Refuse to wear uncomfortable pants, even if they make you look really thin. Promise me you’ll never wear pants that bind or tug or hurt, pants that have an opinion about how much you’ve just eaten.” I don’t have any yet, but once I lose the diet addiction and stop weighing myself (on not one but two different scales daily) life may get a little more pleasurable and I may have to send a few pair to the thrift store. At least my leggings don’t care.
Will I be able to stop a lifetime of obsession about calories, fat grams, net carbs and weight? Not in just a few weeks. Like any addiction (to which I’m most definitely prone) it is a struggle and I may have to look outside of a book for help. So many of us have been on diets or restrictions our whole lives. Numbers, numbers, numbers.
But finding joy in what is, and letting them, are the only ways I’m going to get through 2025 healthier and far happier than the year just passed. I was saying to my friend Lisa yesterday, “How will I feel at the end of this about everything I missed because I said, ‘no?’” If saying “yes” to a Christmas Day invitation taught me anything, it’s that the only thing standing in my way is me.
Grace. Forgiveness. Love. Hope. I may need to make room for more tattoos.
Don’t forget that my pal and fellow broadcaster Lisa Brandt and I have embarked on a wonderful Year Three of our Gracefully and Frankly podcast, and if you still don’t think they’re for you – well, you haven’t tried ours! Just click here and listen for free, thanks to our generous sponsors, enVypillow and SierraSil.
It’s only half an hour long and we’ll make you think, laugh and feel like you’re just sitting having coffee or tea with two friends.
If you’re here on this blog, you’re our people, Queenager. 107 Episodes await and we would love to have you join us. And we serve up a fresh one every Thursday. Thank you.