Just a thought… Just because I carry it well, doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy. [post on Instagram @powerofpositivity]

As we step further into September, and the leaves show us how to let go, as someone wisely put it, I find myself thinking so much about hope, along with a word I stumbled across last week that may make the difference between mere existence and thriving for you and for me.

Rob and I watched a fascinating documentary series on Netflix called Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone from 2023. The fact that I’ve found myself talking about it to friends and family means it’s really hit something in me.

Okay, so in it, the host and researchers go to parts of the world – interestingly, many of them islands – where more people live to 100+ years of age than in other areas on Earth.

In each of them, which included specific areas in Japan, Greece, Costa Rica, Italy, California and Singapore, there were three or four standout features in their inhabitants’ lives that helped contribute to their longevity. These included community, activity and exercise, diet (so many fruits, vegetables and lentils; so little meat!) and the one BIG element that stuck foremost in my mind: ikigai.

Pronounced “icky guy,” this emerged during the show’s visit to Okinawa, Japan. It basically translates to “your purpose or passion while benefitting others.” According to an article to which I’ll link at the end, the four elements of ikigai are these:

• What you love

• What you are good at

• What the world needs

• What you can get paid for

It was ikigai that seemed to contribute to people in Okinawa (and other locales) living longer, and I guess the reason it resonated so loudly is that I’m delving more and more deeply into mine these days.

Maybe retirement did this to you. When we read or hear of people who die shortly after leaving or losing a job, it seems that they’ve lost their ikigai. Or maybe, as was the case with yours truly, they lean into the “no rules” freedom of not getting up to an alarm and having to be anywhere at a specific time. It’s what led me back to drinking (and eventually to sobriety, thank goodness).

So after a seemingly fulfilling eight years since we left the daily radio job, Rob is concerned that I find myself sinking into a malaise and that has brought us to the realization that there’s more work to be done on my grief and the compounding feelings that have come of the massive changes in our lives this year. Losing the optimism that’s always been imprinted on my heart has been hard; watching life go on around me and having no urge to take part is easy to lean into and just sink more deeply.

So why am I telling you this? Not for counsel or sympathy; it’s basic transparency. And a reminder to please not think that life is perfect for anyone, no matter what they present to the world in those Instagrammable moments.

While I search for my ikigai, I’m hoping this will remind you to hold on to yours. Maybe it’s family or volunteering or doing what you love. If that is you, that’s awesome! We need reasons to get out of bed in the morning. My new project, which I intend to be my purpose, is the Not a Mourning Person grief briefs I post loosely semi-weekly on YouTube. 

I’m using what’s in my heart to help others to keep going by knowing they’re not alone, and it comes with a responsibility to keep doing them. The community I’ve always had on social media with people who are kind, open and compassionate has fuelled me, along with the podcast work with Lisa Brandt (Gracefully and Frankly) that gives me purpose. Sustained joy will come, I hope. For now it’s just finding those reasons to get up, stay up and keep it up.

As I’ve often said in times of challenge, “We Can Do This.” I just need to believe it. Don’t we all?

Here’s an article on ikigai if you’d like to read more. I know I will.